


lancey pantsy

by justjoshinya



Series: langst stuff [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, KEITH IS VERY AWKWARD, Kinda, Lances pov, POV Second Person, also, also i might make another part, bc no, bdkfbnjdfn, but like, eds are a thing, fndnfjbfd, i rlly hope this doesnt come off like im trying to like, iijkfoekfoofmks, im a thirsty hoe, im asking for a friend, im sorry in advance, is venting thru fictional characters a valid way to deal with shit, romanticize eating disorders or anything, so uh yeah, so uuuuhhhhh lmao read my other garbage if u want, that happen in this, thats not my intentipn, this is the second part btw kinda, thsi is actually horrible, u dont rlly have to read the other one to understand this one, uhhhh yeaaa, uhhhhh big boy tw, ya know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 02:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15547239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justjoshinya/pseuds/justjoshinya
Summary: part two kinda ig of egg my nog daddy (i still question myself and why i named it that ebdhb ejfhfn)





	lancey pantsy

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo incase u didnt read the tags tw for eating disorder stuff yeehaw

It's been weeks since you last passed out.

Everyone was, of course, getting suspicious of your eating habits.

One night during dinner you couldn't help but notice Pidge glancing at you from the corner of her eye. You decided not to call her out on it, in fear of it bringing light to what you were doing.

Your anxiety would always spike during meal times. It's always been like that but recently it's gotten noticeably worse. Mainly because the team was catching on. 

It made you feel sick to your stomach whenever you caught someone looking at your barely touched plate of food goo. Or when they gave you just a little bit more than everyone else. Especially when they'd comment on your weight or what you've eaten recently, if anything at all.

Sometimes Hunk would make space cookies or various other snacks and would try to get you to have some. He said it was for taste testing reasons, but you could see through all that. He just wanted you to get something in that concave stomach of yours.

You've begun to notice everyone went easier on you during training, as If you could break at any second. Honestly, you probably could.

Training became harder and harder the more weight you lost and the less food you ate. It made you nauseous. Hell, moving at all got you feeling like you were about to faint.

Your body was getting weaker, and it was getting much harder to hide.

Luckily, nothing much had really been going on as of late. 

Recently you've just been hanging out with the paladins, playing monsters & mana, helping around whenever you could, and just doing a bunch of other random things around the castle.

You tried to avoid physical contact as much as possible. You didn't want anyone to feel your body.

It made you anxious that you couldn't weigh yourself. Right now, you were likely at the lowest weight you've been since you started eating less.

You wanted to ask Allura if there were any weird alien space scales you could use, but that likely would've been a dead giveaway if it weren't for the fact that literally everything else you did was.

Still, you decided against asking.

Instead, you simply guessed you were around one hundred pounds, give or take.

You felt proud of yourself. Yet, at the same time, you still hated what you saw whenever you looked in the mirror.

You still weren't thin enough. And you knew that you likely never would be, but you didn't want to stop. You couldn't.

One time after a particularly hard mission, Keith had lifted you up and spun you around, smiling the whole time.

Even though him holding you like that made you nervous to hell and back, it made you feel so light, like you were weightless.

He seemed so happy at the victory of the team.

It was nice to see him smiling.

What wasn't so nice, however, was the look of concern on his face after you were set down.

He didn't say anything, but his expression was enough to let you know what he was thinking.

There was no way he didn't know, no way he didn't feel how light you were, no way he didn't notice you skipping meals before, now simply being what confirmed his suspicions.

You shot him a look, a pleading, please don't tell anyone, kind of look.

He bit his lip and looked towards the ground, before looking back up at you and nodding slightly, as if he could tell exactly what you were thinking.

The two of you sat silently together. The rest of the paladins were finished up helping the alien creatures that had been under attack before Voltron showed up.

You can see him sneaking glances at you, but you say nothing.

He was about to open his mouth when you heard Shiro’s voice, “c’mon, guys. Let's get back to the castle and rest for a while.”

You and Keith both stood up and followed along the rest of the team.

When you stood up, your vision blanked out for a second. Nothing you weren't used to, but it still wasn't very convenient, nor pleasant.

That night after dinner, which you succeeding in skipping, Keith had knocked on the door to your room.

“Hey, Lance?” he had said.

You simply hummed in response.

“I, uh, I noticed you've been looking really… thin lately, and uh, I just wanted to check in, make sure you're alright, and like, yeah…”

He trailed off, refusing to meet your eyes.

You sighed, “as much as I'd like to say I'm fine and nothing's wrong, I can't, or at least, I can't say it in any way that would make you actually believe me.”

Sighing again, you gesture to your room, Keith takes the hint and comes in.

You sit down on your bed, patting the space next to you, and Keith plops down, too.

“So,” he starts, “Are you... starving yourself?” he asks, then starts apologizing, “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked like that, I just don't know how to… use words, I guess.” 

You chuckle quietly, “No. No, it's fine, I get it. And, uh, yeah, I am.” 

He stays quiet for a moment, “Why? If you don't mind me asking?” 

You stare at your fidgeting hands for probably longer than necessary. Keith doesn't say anything, he just watches you, frowning slightly.

“I… I don't know.” you say. 

Fuck, why didn't you know? You've been doing this for so long, yet, you couldn't even pinpoint why, or what started it, or how long it's been going on like this.

You've just.... been like this for as long as you could remember.

It likely started due to a need for control, then it spiraled into an addiction to the hunger, the weight loss, the pain.

But now, now it was just something you were used to.

It wasn't really about the pounds dropping lower and lower, nor about the control, not anymore.

Sure, even though you were just skin and bones now, you still loved waking up every morning to see your ribs popping out just a tad more, or the gap between your thighs just a little bit wider, or your collarbones becoming more and more defined.

But that wasn't it anymore, now was it?

No, no no no. It wasn't. Now it was simply an addiction, something you couldn't break out of even if you wanted to.

The hunger felt too good.

You couldn't bear to make it stop.

You didn't even realize you were crying until you were snapped back into reality by Keith wrapping his arms around your shaking form.

both of you sat in comfortable silence, save for your almost inaudible sobbing.

“Keith?”

“Yea?”

“Can you please stay here with me tonight?”

“Of course, Lance.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading !!! i sincerely hope u enjoyed this hot garbage


End file.
